By gab david
At my moms’ room / listening to my bro collection
April 6, 2006 / 9.15 pm
Now, the day have just past
I cannot figure this certain feeling I have
I’ve been carrying it since this morning
It started when I wake up this morning
When I still on the bus
On my way to my very own, home town
It was around six in the morning
The sun has just smiling through the dancing fields of palays
And even the breeze of fresh palays is everywhere
Spreading the whole place
But, total silences inside me just knock
i don’t understand and explained
Why I just feel the sudden coldness
Intriguing yet unnecessary one
I’ve been counting this
Even before I left the busy place I used for almost five years
But not really expecting it that it will shot me right away
And would end up like this
It is like i am being pulled back
To the place where I just left
A sleep for about nine hours
Then will lead me to this longing ness feeling
It’s like I was in the other archipelago
With nowhere to run back
It’s like I am an alien in my own town
I am not a perfect man
Nor hypocrite to what I feel at the same time
Not, sort of, used of staying for a long time in my so-called home town
yet, and said to myself “…this will past”
So, as the sun is happily shining over
And Unselfishly sharing the true joy of the day ahead
However, honestly speaking I accept it with no conviction
And just continue my usual stuff
As the time passes by
Like the wind that touches my face
when I first went out from the bus
my mind was blank
with nothing inside nor feeling flowing
wanting to rush back
frozen some seconds
and wanting to stay from the right disposition
but I said to myself that I guess this should suppose to happen
then, time continue to move
walking and wondering the old road
passing the my busy old crowded place I was born
while reaching our house
a little smile have just visited
saying “ it never change”
flashing the memories that was imbedded in my deepest heart
yet, the raging sadness had never left me
it was sitting there waiting for the right moment
even how hard I divulge myself to do things
still it lead me into a concrete coma
and power of sadness overruled my day
I talk to some people whom I used to be with
Saying things that would lead me to a smile
Yet, it just keeps on crashing my heart
I guess this is what a true feeling in
first day, My day one, living in my old time (busy) life
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“….When I open my eyes…in a new set of day, all I think of, is you, with out any hesitation in my mind. So, let me feel it, until the morning dew will set again.” – gab david
