…a stunnin’ revelation!

8.46 am / December 31, 2005

mom’s room

Last night I went out with some of my closest friends (mitch, esche, embeng, totot) with some astonishing revelation. First, I went out and circle around the busy streets of our centro (people tend to do their late shopin’ galore for new year) with hopes I can bump some old friends. Unfortunately, after three rounds (even it was raining I manage to walk on the wet and sort of “muddy”). Finally, I decided to text my friend mitch –

Messeges

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Abc

Where you?

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Inlove na mitch

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Messege sent

So, I walk again waiting for the reply. After a couple of minutes, my phone ring and vibrate.

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Inlove na mitch

Kauuwi pa lang house. Kaw?

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Abc

Want to go out and eat or coffee. I am bored and been two days I just stayed in the house

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Message sent

With hopes that she can go out with me and together we’ll kill the time together. While walking with no where to go , I text esche.

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Abc

Where you?

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esche

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Then, again, my phone ring and vibrate. While I was standing in the traders squares.

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Inlove na mitch

Cge. Puntahan kta sainyo cguro. Toothbrush lang ako at pahinga k0nti. Kararating ko lang galling sa wedding.

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Abc

Okay. But I’m here in centro. Which is okay for you I wait for you sa red platter or lucky 9.

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While thinking where will be the best landmark and easiest way for mitch and easy way for esche house. Then, my phone ring and vibrate.

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Esche

Im at home. Wait lng mamamalantsa lng ako.

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Abc

Okay. We’ll pick you in awhile.

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After sending the reply text and standing in front of traders square (actually in the middle of red platter and chowking). Somebody shouted my name, “GABRIEL” (a loud woman voice from my right), surprise and happy to see. It was embeng to gether with tita walking. So I walk with them while chattin’ some things. Embeng saying that she doesn’t know that I am already here because nikki told her that I’ll not go home. While tita on our side, tita ask if I am with someone, “girlfriend” – what she mean, I said, “I wish tita”, then she thought I have already and told her I have sana si “liah” (then I laugh). But, tita said, bestfriends should not be lovers (with a joke on the last word). So, I waited for mitch while I was busy talking to embeng. Then, she call nikki and liah. Hoping they can come. But, both are not available. after twenty minutes or less. Mitch was outside waiting for me while I was still on the phone talking to nikki. So, I went out and manage to grab embeng and totot to join with us (but they’ll just meet us in bean bag). So, we went to esche house to pick her up and go straight to magsaysay to look for the place to eat. We end up at coco leaf and order a bunch of food. Mind you, esche paid for it! (thanks esche! Mwah mwah mwah) then, embeng and totot arrive which we are almost done. After paying the bill, we immediately transferred to bean bag for a cup of coffee. The place was full and lots of people whom I know back then were there. A little bit of chat and looks for a table. While walking and getting inside. Guess who I saw, it was ‘LEMONADA” with her friends (surpassingly – the world is too small for us! hahaha).

So, we manage to have a table. We sit and order (the usual for me black brewed coffee and the rest whatever!). then, while sitting there and having some chat with friends and old classmates coming from (st. joseph school, naga parochial school and ateneo de naga university) and enjoying the things around us. I thought I was just the one notice tha the place is full of young ones. Then, I just out of curiosity throw a question to my friends, “they are all young, and I feel I’m too old for this place?”. Then, the “stunnin’ revelation” have just flowed inside my mind. When embeng said, “Gab, we are old!” (with honest conviction in her voice). A reality check that really keep on flowing on me…

The generation now was clearly unstoppable. They have all the luxuries in the world that can offer (having the tools and gadgets that keep on sprouting like a mushroom every now and then). The world was really (literally) “getting small” for everyone. Looking them (the young ones) I don’t know what to say (with a little bit of worry inside me, yet, a little bit happy for them because they can still manage things even are really not as what it was then). Stunt yet understands what really the world brings us. Still, there is this thing pulling me back to think. Something that could really explain that am I really this too old enough and never knows what (entire thing) really the worlds offers or I am just simply never cares for quite sometime…? I know this might be usual for you but I am just worried for the next ones. What would be the next?

Many people says or maybe I say that,

“…live you life today with full of compassion, excitement, adventure, and hopes then let the past be a guidance, challenge and learning and let tomorrow mind her way for today will give you the ideas and decisions how to handle…” – gab david

…what would be the best feeling?

7.49 am / December 31, 2005

mom’s room

I left manila last 20 of this month. To recharge myself and feel the warmth hugs and kisses of my family and friends (or new ones if possible). Even though I knew before(deep inside me – that I’ll carry my hopes, dreams and never ever have my bad dreams anymore which is, usually, a not so good one) that would like be the previous feelings I have everytime I step out on the bus and said “I am home”. It’s like the memories of the past will just flow around me like the wind tat come and go. Touching every bit of my body until it reaches to my innermost subconscious that could lead to sadness and cries (not again, please…). Nonetheless, I pack my things (with some gifts from the office and things for the family) and carry on with my journey home (even though I have this mix feelings inside me that even the clouds are cheering up with more rains in my travel - hahaha). With book at side, the da vinci code, and my disk player, listening to these following albums – pinoy ako (a collaborated mix songs of pinoy), Barbie the singles, and hale, that complete my travel with a little bit joy in my heart (but mostly, sadness which is starting to eat me).

So, this would be my first stop! Honestly, while the bus started to run and continue the task bringing the entire passenger (with hopes and excitement in their heart) I, on-the-other-hand, have this saddest feeling carrying inside me. Pain that keep on striking me everytime I have this journey home. We all knew that it’s been more than a year since my eight (ups and down) years of relationship to the one I really love in my entire life have happend in my very little city. Every corner of the walls, busy streets, and even the interesting places (memorable one’s) that sparking every bit of my memory that (ones I said to sleep and never wake up) left inside my heart are starting to click, ones in a while, I run unto the busy centro while I walk. One reason In my life that I need to over come and fix because I know I cannot just run and pretend that its nothing (acting that I am blinded with it and there is no possible cure like it’s a permanent until I die) blinding my memory and just continue my journey with back lags on my back every time I visited our city. I know, this is just same old story or a merely everybody’s sad story you’ve heard but mind you – when your time comes, that’s the time you’ll shout and say “oh this is it!” and wishing that it didn’t happen and seen it before it comes. But, that is what we call life. It’s too late for us to say that because everything have just tumble down and your life have just crash once again and needed a renovation or a new one to build.

It’s funny to say and think, while I am writing this, I am smiling – thinking every bit of things I have in my twenty-six-years living in this tricky world, that everybody lived. but, to tell you, we all know that its not everyday is a happy day for everybody. We need to live with some ups and downs to surpass this roller coaster life to be able to “STAND”, “REBUILD”, and “RESTORE” for us to feel the true life brings us.

one fine cold rainy friday...

still raining outside...

i woke up late this morning due to the marathon korean dvd last night. its almost 3 am when i cuddle my bed this morning. the room was filled with silence and cold ness. after the two dvd i watch entittled, the classic (two times) and my dady long leg(five times), which i really enjoy watching. to be honest, i watched it already i just wanted to repeat it again and agian just feel the "kilig" feeling in every scenes.

so, one more thing, i am also excited tonigths' "EB". so, i grab my ipod and my bag then walk thru my office. while listening to the cool music(bossa nova).
while working i open my blog as well as the blogs of my new found friends trantric, interrupted, wickedmoonlight, and lemonada for some updates for tonight grand "EB" of "singles' group". unfortunately, (a little bit sad feeling) it will be resched to other time and date. due to some unexpected thing. anyhow, it okay atleast we have the eagerness to meet and to enjoy ourselves which is "being happy even single".

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now, i'm just done my (heavy) lunch with my boss and officemates. i check the blogs for possible updates. happy to know that some people are there responding to every message i tag.

8 Dec 05, 21:33 kurimaw: meet na lang tayo pag uwi ko uli dun kahit san sama na alng antin si interrupted. sa mga batchmates kong coffee shops and resto

8 Dec 05, 21:32 kurimaw: oh sige sama ka! hehehe! yun ung ticket ko nakuha then balik ko 2 kasi ala na akong makuhang maaga. buti na alng confortect kinuha ko! courtesy of my achie

8 Dec 05, 20:39 wickedmoonlight: wow! sarap naman! alam nyo bang pangarap kong pumunta ng bicol? sama ako!!:D

8 Dec 05, 20:29 lemonada: waaahhh buti ka pa sa 20 na uwi ng naga... 23 pa ako...waahhh talaga

8 Dec 05, 20:14 kurimaw: excited pa naman ang lahat! hehehe! so, basta bago ako uwi ng naga sa 20. see you

with that, its great to have people whom you barely know and yet, you have this connections (even trust) that gives eveyone a same feeling of "belongingness". i am so happy and really proud of it. thanks for you guys (tantric, lemonada, wickedmoonlight, interrupted, and many more). hope that we'll meet soon! and enjoy our (single) life! hahahaha!

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"...it may be raining outside, to some it is not good weather, but for me, its the best moment,
for this is only the time that our heart are being touch by the amazing gift from HIM, because life may not be as what we ought always there are also chances that gives our souls some spices in life..." -gab david

------listening the album bossa disney nova while doing this blog :)

Now being me (with him)…

12.17 am / doms room (235 east 2 republic - dorm)
December 2, 2005


With his simple smile
A naughty (devilish) look in the face
As well as the loud laughs
From one corner to another

The voice that can be heard
Or even (loud) laughter
And even reactions from the conversations
That even passers-by would turn their head

From one ring on the phone
Or even a text message (cell phone or yahoo messenger)
Automatically you’ll have his (ever) presence
Like a flash of light in every explosion

A shoulder you can cry on
A totally freak but funny guy
That would make some corny faces and jokes (mostly corny)
Just for the sake of one smile

Sometimes or most of the time
He may (be) an eye sore (for you)
Because of his (talkative) attitude cum personality (non-stop)
Or (repetitious) stories that’s like a juke box in your ears

He who loves feel good music (? Whatever music that comes)
And sings even it’s not necessary (most of the time out of tune)
Just to make you laugh (or it may not please your ears)
But what’s good about him is his (game) attitude

People might have (most of the time) had a wrong impression (due to his loudness)
Or wonder and ask who’s that person (while raising one eyebrow)
And (be) confuse (asking “is he a gay?”)
Because of his vain manifestations (vanity in clothes, manner of speak, and actions)

On the other hand, being with him was the best part (as what everybody says)
Not just for his (corny) jokes and stories but also his unique manner in conversing
“When you are with him, there is never a dull moment”
A comment that just explains his true (down to earth) personality

But sometimes he can be (too) serious
(Especially) when it comes to “love and relationships”
Or see how he cries (from a commercial ads to movies)
A soft side that only (closest) friends knew about (high respect on women)

So, these are some bits and bites of him
A little pinch of everything (that you can’t resist, I dare you)
Knowing him from the start (until to your last breath)
And saying to others (people you’ll meet) proudly (:now being me with him is…)

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;
After two mugs of Columbian brewed coffee with no sugar and cream

As I change…

By gab david
8.38 pm / doms room (235 east 2 republic - dorm)
December 1, 2005


I tried to do things
Which I saw from others
Or even (from the things) I notice from my closest friends

A little bit of this
For it will make me different
And be like what the others do

Then trying a pinch of that
From what they say its better
Blending from the crowd (be with them)

Simple acts of something
Which creates (some) different actions
That keeps everyone in level

But having it
For awhile made me notice
To wonder, wander and keep me moving

For I ask my self
The simple question (that just shot me)
From the changes, did I make a (some) change(s)?

A life may be difficult (sometimes or most of the time)
For (many) years that have come
But (I said) let the present (acts) rule tomorrow (just for now)

With those simple acts (you have)
(your) life need not to be questioned
And yet, be satisfied with the simplicity of a smile

The last time…

By gab david
8.11 pm / doms room (235 east 2 republic - dorm)
December 1, 2005

It’s been awhile since I said this,
“When was the last time I smiled with my closest friend?”
I’ve been trying to recall it
Deeply digging into the deepest subconscious ness
Like drilling towards my innermost soul
Dissecting every bit and layer of my memory
Until it reaches to the end point where the source is settling

But I could not figure when was it
The true essence of freedom ness
That once ran into my blood
Like the laughter in every face
Or even the joy that can be seen in the life of every child
And even the sudden momentum that (keep on) linger(ing) in their lives

Or this,
“When was the last time I felt the warmth of a hug?”
And suddenly feel the fast rushing blood inside me
Even the eagles’ eyes are useless
For I already have the indescribable feeling
And even the mountain can move at the same time

This may be hard to comprehend
This notion that (keep on) shout(ing) from within
From the moment I glance the farthest place
Gazing through the unrestrained fields
Wandering and wondering

After a long day
The world has just evaded the light
And even the darkness has started to rule
Covering every bit of sight I partake
Like the slowly conquering silence

Now, thru this non-sense notion
A newly born resolution has erupted
Crying all out and only I can hear
Crashing every bit of my nerves
From the smallest particles inside
Through the deepest senses of understanding

The weak ness of this life that I partake
Has now turned into a nostalgic life
A point of question or assurance
For this will be a beginning
Of the last time…

...feeling happy & thats what it call!

by gab david
november 27, 2005 / 5.36 pm

its been Awhile since I write something good. I had been writing things that were so hurtful or all about desperation. But, now, let me change it and let me try to divert or change my flow.to be honest, I don’t where this would lead me, but I entrust it to my, very own, notion that keep on lurking inside me since last Friday.

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When was the time I felt the super dooper happy and fun (inside me). That even my lungs are raising their hands begging to stop because I’ve been laughing so hard and so long. To be honest I can’t figure it out when was that? Its funny to say that yes I’ve had it but when? How stupid of me saying this things yet, it finding me hard time recalling the very instance when it was. All I knew I just have it when I was in the group (but what group?). last semester break, I knew I smiled again but not as what I wanted to happen. (the one that bursting into cry because of the happiness that been rushing into your lungs and blood). Creating an event in life with the full of excitement was never easy. When I was with my group (the undergraduate “close” friends whom I entrusted my deepest secrets and desires). We just talked about the college years when we were still together. (especially when I carry nikki and put her inside the trashcan which is in the middle of the campus) or even the time when I told nikki that I didn’t past her final paper, in one of our major subjects in psychology, that make her cry so hard and we all felt the sudden quilt because we just fool her and just playing of her. Or one time when we are all walking in the covered walk when suddenly one of our friend professor whom she likes just pass by and told to him that, “excuse me sir, nikki has a crush on you!”, which she really turned into red face and everybody was really laughing and running. Those things, whom, I really misses a lot. The college life Was the best life for me. Even though its was quite difficult at the start (building some rapport on one another and be a group) which really gave us a very strong relation to each other. The days then, seem to be so fast. I can still remember, year 1996 september, when I was really put on hot sit due to some misunderstandings with the group (whom until now we are all close). That’s was also the time when I first met the first girl whom I truly love and entrusted my very essence of life (I can still remember and feel the courage on her hand that brought me where I am right now – I call her my angel then that gives many people notice our closeness). Anyhow, that was another story, but mind you this! Guess what, after a year,1997 september (same place where we had the smooth interpersonal relationship – that is being held every year for something purposes), anyhow, let me tell you, with proud, that I am not alone but the group are now in the center (meaning all of us in the hot seat – interrogation with our batch mates). That moment gives us all(the group) a very strong bonding and trust to one another. (actually this was the exact words that tuts said, “we love each other and we care for each other”) which gives us the name – “high profile” – courtesy of our batch mates. So everytime we are loud and laughing (ops, we all says, “we need to be low profile” – that gives us really a devilish face while smiling). So, those are some moments with my friends in college life. Memories that really stayed in my mind like a stain that cannot be erase by anyone even death.
Now, the last time I check on them, two of them are “happily married and have kids”, ofcourse all of us are godfathers and godmothers. So, this coming holidays, I be already preparing the gifts for them (one boy aged 1 and one girl aged 6 – it happen two months before our graduation she doesn’t know that she pregnant – but now, we call her the “sex guru”). Everybody has their own lives. Busy doing their stuff and happily moving on (of their lives) same here. Ops, before I forgot they are:
_______________________
Tuts – happily married with one daughter(aged 6) named charlize. And we call her the sex guru, married to Sunday. A teacher but with blood of politics. (I miss you so much and love you batutay).
_______________________
Esche – the motor mouth in the group (meaning “taklesa” or “straight forward”). Has a strong personality and even guys are afraid to he. A professor in a university. Still single but happily doing her job – even sometimes irritated due to some stupidity of t her students. Men don’t full this genius girl you might be busted and even lost your nerve. And,ops, a true rockstar!
_______________________
Mitch – my dear mitch. She is the shy type person. But mind you, (she have this bed room that the group wish its ours – hehehehe! Airconditioned, dvd, music, tv, and big room) a true person that easy to please just let her feel she belongs. Still single but happily helping her mom in their business. Ops, she own a stall in market, mind you, in her own name! and, this, ask some new gadgets she has it(especially cell phones). Lastly, she has her own car that’s why we love her so much!
______________________
Nikki – the “gifted child” but here’s the catch, “promil (milk) user but expired lang” (hahahaha). No, I love this girl. Happily in-love with (chris – lawiswis as I call him). She has the heart of a child, easily cries even in the movies or scene television. She is the eldest sister of four girls (yup! All of them are girls). A guidance counselor in the university that you won’t believe because she dresses like the college students. But, mind you, you cannot trick her like we use too hahahaha!
_____________________
Chie – this person known as “career move” in every relationship she had. Before she settled last year (that we are not invited). We understand it anyway, happily married to cecil and jamming with his little boy marcus (who just turned 1 last November 2005). This is the person whom I berely see even we are both in manila but its okay we never change and still she loves me and support me (especially what happen to me – thanks chie).

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this are the thoughts that (kepp on running) runs into my head when I think of (them - happy feeling and so proud having them in my life). While listening to a Korean song (a love song which I can’t understand the lyric but all I know I am really love it)

and lastly, our very last motto,

"no goodbyes,

just see you later"

beFORe semBREAK...harVEST, TRIathlon and nightOUT

...here are some of my activities with the group(hootenanny musing) last september. when we have an early check for break. actually, this is my second time doing this stuff - harvesting (well my friend told me that its not really harvesting its some kind a "picnic ala harvest party"). and guess what? the original plan was we (the group) should be helping to harvest the lanzones and rambutan in los banos (am proud to say, kahlou's family farm). but it end up, the group became the famous and great spectators and justwait for kuya ato and his son (kahlou's tito and cousin) doing the "harvesting thing" (thank you po). and us, well, we all just wait, some tried, but end up joining the rest of the gang eating and enjoying the sweetness of lanzones and rambutan. hahahaha *wink*

here are some of the group pictures
...and the series of activities we've done before and after the harvest!!!




some of the group(feeling and getting ready for the activity) while waiting for the time and food to be done before we go to the farm!(venue: kahlou's residence)
(hani,doms,me,glenn and aiken)






(me and aiken) waiting for the food!!!
trivia(aiken ask (the group) if its okay(daw) if she usesher flip flop kasi she always wear strap sandals and high hills!







jay and abby (one of the sweet couple sa group)
trivia: they are preparing for the big event: the wedding of year!





...now here are some of the pictures we have while harvesting lanzones and rambutan in los banos (kahlou's farm)



here are culprits (eagerly watching and waiting for the lanzones that are being harvest by kuya ato and his son) while looking on the ants (black and red and they are all big) and the lanzones.(actually it became a picnic cum harvesting daw!) *wink*

glenn was trying to harvest (hmm,to be honest he just keep on getting the unripe one - hahaha!)

oh well, here comes aiken(bratinela girl) that won't agree and saying she can do it also.so, she also tried!
(go girl!)

...after long waited harvest and ejoying eating lanzones and rambutan. the group decided that we all go straight to UP los banos ground to watch and cheer for the triathlon event that doms will be participatig. the groups cheered and have fun (including amaze to all contenders especially the young ones)for almost two hours.

trivia (doms won 2nd place on the event in his category! we are really proud of him)

...and here it is! the group taking some time (while waiting for the real food to be serve). the night out (food and drinks) in los banos square! (foods and drinks in los banos was really cheap! its a good hung out!)

first stop, persian food style! to feed the hungry stomach!

two of the sweet couple of the group (jay, hani, doms and abby)

the group enjoying the night with live music while drinking a grande or tall of perfect drinks!
(kahlou, abby, jay, aiken, me, hani and doms)

...and lastly, together with the two brat ladies (abby, me and aiken)! love you guys!

i'm back...but still have cough and headache

2.43 pm / office

yesterday around three i visited the the office to divert my mind and not waste my time in my room "restingg" (as all people told me) because last friday i am didn't feel good. but yesterday (early morning) my temperature rise up i think (38.5) and i felt i was wheezing (becasue my asthma just invaded my lungs again). to be honest for almost 4 years i stayed here in diliman i never experience any attack (asthma) despite of the smogs and pollution here in quezon city. but, yesterday, i was shocked and really bothered. because last weekend, even though i am not feeling well i accompany my achie to buy some stuffs and we went to four malls the whole saturday. and last sunday i went out again with friend to watch harry potter (and we got some reserve seats compliment of hani thru www.sureseats.com). then, after that we all, hani, doms, jay and abby, hear mass in greenbelt then waited for the fireworks showdown in greenbelts. it was really nice and spectacular.

after that, i went home and watch cable. around 12 midnight i chat to a new found frind name rose nidchay from thailand. we just talk for an hour and left after an hour. so, around two in the morning i close the laptop then sleep. i wake up around quater to 6 then prepare myself for work. yet, i know i don't feel good but i need to act normal cause my sister would notice (i don't want to happen becasue she'll insist that i'll better stay in the condo and rest which it would really kill me becasue of doing nothing).

to cut the story short, i end up in my room (ipil dorm) the whole monday and tuesday because i am not really feeling good and my fever is really high.

but, today, i said to myself i need to work so that i can divert my mind and the aches would go away(it may sound silly but thats the way i cope up when i have sick). even, i still have cough and colds i am already here working and it,really,gives me a good smile...

(thank GOD there is what you call medicine - biogesic, advil, decolgen, amoxicillin and vintolin for my asthma)

after the movie...harry potter!

what can i say...
hmmm...let me think it first
just a little time to think of!

today is saturday and i am sick:(

i woke up around five in the morning
it was really cold
and i could really feel it upto my bones
because my temperature was really high (i guess around 37-38)
meaning the flu and colds have just evaded the kingdom "gab"
while feeling the moment
i stand up then check what was the exact time
and went to the comfortroom
despite of the dizziness i am feeling
then shot off the fan
then i sleep again
around 7. 44 in the morning
my sister have sent a message
"haller! how are you? i'll just go with kuya for check up sa dentist"
then, i just force myself to stand up and take a bath
even though i don't feel good with i guess temperature of 37.5 (i guess)
so, before i went to my sister's condo (in makati)
i told to myself to drop by first on the university health center (which is near to my dorm)
i go straight to emrgency corner to ask for assistant
a nurse approach me and i ask for a help
saying "can i have my body temperature i guess i have flu"
so i had my temperature and it was 37.8
so she ask me to go to the attending doctor on duty for possible consultation
then the doctor have given me three prescriptions
(of medicine biogesic, amoxicilin, and decolgen - which i don't usually drink)
then, off i go to mrt quezon ave
fighting my body and stressing that i am okay
so when i arrive in the condo
unfortunately the room is lock
yes, my sister left and she double lock it
unluckily of me all i have is the one key
so i just drove to her office
which is just a two blocks away from our place
then spent my time waiting for her
then around ten or past ten
she text me and told me she'll near
and she'll meet me sa lobby
so we just fix some stuff and went to NBC tent
to do some "bazaar" stuff
she bought something
then after that
drove again going to makati (sm, landmark, and glorietta)
then around 12 noon
we drove again guess where?
hmmm....i bet you'll say divisoria?
actually while sitting beside her(she mention she wants to go there i just stop her)
anyhow, we went to greenhill mall
which we bought some gifts to her and kuya's inaanaks
and a perfume for her (heart eau de parfum by garden botanika)
which really smells good i bet if you have it
i'll literaly fall in love with you (*wink*)
then end up eating chiken tail, gizard, and liver in greenhills
then finally its around 7 in the evening we settle and went home
to rest and drink some medicine that the doctor prescribe
well, thats my whole day activity with my sister (achie)
what you think?
is my flu and colds says goodbye?
to be honest, its still here....

Today is Wednesday

By gab david
1.35 pm / office/ 11/16/05

What would be the best thing to do?
What would be the kind of thing that can move one’s heart?
Would it be okay if I say nothing?
Or could it be just lend a hand?

All I want is to be a good person
There are things here in this world
That is hard to explain
We just follow because there’s no other way
Just like when I wanted to do such thing
Like, Carrying a bag to someone
This would be (too) simple task
But for someone it’s a big help

A Simple smile from thyself
Would be a good start
To a bountiful morning
For many people you met in the street

These are the thoughts of me
It sound nothing actually
But for me it’s a good start
A relief
And a smile (from within)

(boring?) Tuesday with files

gab david
nov 15 2005
office

Fifteen minutes from now
it’s already four in the afternoon
this day was just the same
I feel the day was too long
Files have been arrange and document are being sent
Yet comprehending this notion inside me
Kept on pulling me to write something
Its-been-a-while since I post
To be honest
I just made some lousy introduction
Then lead to nothing
Just like this
How funny it is
And guess what
Comprehending and even realizing what had happen
Is the one gazillion question?????
Even I ask my (damn) brain nerves,
“hey, where are you? (while knocking it so hard)
I been loving to write but I wasn’t able to think the best
Or the right momentum
Insights are just keep on pouring around
From left to right
‘til up and down
but it just can’t compose a better sight
building a great introduction really finding me hard to compose
especially when one thing never lead to next
I been busy (well trying to be…) so that my day would be complete
But I guess there’s nothing to write or declare to the whole world
Anyhow, I just post some other time
I guess????
But hoping this coming days
How I wanted to shout all (my raging) thoughts
For I will be satisfied (from inside)

sudden smile

By gab david

8.06 pm / pizza hut, ali mall / October 27, 2005

A sudden smile have just visited me

From the strange and cold Sunday night

While the rain outside happen to stop from falling

And the cold breeze of east was just next to it

I was preparing for a good night sleep

And (when) about to close my jaded eyes

A piece of thought just flash out

That (sudden) smile in thee

Each curves, limes and even movements from thy face

Showered me the blessing of thy eloquent exquisiteness

Because of that, you incarcerated my anguish being

And my heart

My ever dear heart has just starts to wander

To my very essence of affection

Just because of thy sweet and naïve smile

That brought a special moment

And even desire has instantaneously bounce over me

What a strange breathtaking to transpired

That catches thy inner self

With an innocent and enthusiastic surprise in thy heart

But for now,

All I can disclose from thee

Is this modest word…thank you?

things in this world

by gab david
4.50 pm / office / October 26, 2005


there are things in this world that need to be followed
there are things in this world that even rules should be tough
there are things in this world that is hard to vindicate
there are things in this world that only you and I can comprehend
there are things in this world that norms should overruled
there are things in this world that accidents outburst from nowhere
there are things in this world that choices are all around
there are things in this world that chances kept on coming
there are things in this world that just merely shot all the doors
there are things in this world that even windows are close
there are things in this world that silence should run fast
there are things in this world that pains should be screened
there are things in this world that acceptance is a must
there are things in this world that a tap on the shoulder can move a heart
there are things in this world that even mountains can be in motion by simple smile
there are things in this world that extraordinary is neglected
there are things in this world that deaths are just being forgotten
there are things in this world that tomorrow is another day or nothing
there are things in this world that even water runs dry
there are things in this world that crazy things come and go
and because of that people tend to act differently
based on the chances and the choices of thyself

…the poem is just a mere example of a person who wanted to be freed and yet the past is keep on haunting him / her and still haunting him / her in every minute of the day. the idea to have this in words are so essential because of every human being who suffers the pains in their heart in spite of the true and honest love that have been given still the reward was to be hurtful.

i'll be home soon...(maogmang lugar nueva caceres)

yeepee!!! hello naga city (ang maogmang lugar ciudad ning nuava caceres)! hmmm….oh well, I can see again my birth place (tambling tabling for joy). half of my life I manage to live my beautiful and meaningful city of naga and Ii can say it’s the best in the whole wide world (bola hahaha).
naga city is a small place that I wish I can stay too long (if not of my masters in UP Diliman I think I’m still in naga at this moment wandering hihihi!). the memories of my childhood and even the funniest experiences that the city and I done was really became a big part in my life. naga city was like the extension of my small, hmmm…big (okay…okay) huge na nga intestines (hmm pwede ba yun? o basta pwede yun walang aangal!) because of the kutchinta (color orange and kalamay (color violet) that we used to eat every morning.i still remember that the first time I bought it with a 5 cents in my hand (hay those were the old days). hmmm…memories of my life in naga city is a good portion for my blog, what you think? anyhow, there are a lot of things that are actually in line when I went home this coming sem break (starting October 28 until november 6).
first stop (didn’t miss this thing ever since I go back in naga), when I arrive at around 4 in the morning, I’ll rest for awhile and maybe around 9 or quarter to 10. I’ll go straight to supermarket to pay a visit to my ever dearest friend mitch (who happen to have a store in market). of course, I’ll surprise her (kuno) with my new chubby looking geeky looks (hehehe)! then, when I am there as usual I’ll stay there until lunch (para free ang lunch ko or we will eat oout which we always do) and try to patch up things( konting kweto and kakulitan) with her. (actually, I’ll just look for a new pair of flip flops na binebenta nila hehehe!).
below are the things I’ll do and things that my friend should do when I went there! (hehehe feeling bakasyonista)
hmmm… I guess I need a list for appointments:

1. eat sa chili peppers
2. eat also sa Molino grill
3. grilling point (for the third time)
4. sige nga coco leaf (which owned by a family friend)
5. I need also to try the new one cobbs diner (as what my brother told me)
6. sige nga triboo grill na rin
7. coffee break sa bean bag (which is happen sa classmate)
8. eat ng maruya kina aling cely’s
9. syempre kinalas na jumbo na spicy
10. siopao (toasted) either sa café candies, naga resturant or naga garden (magkakapatid na man lang sila)
11. eat ng fried rice sa oyster
12. slep over kina mitch (she have the coolest room among our group)
13. drink all you can sa bob marlins
14. mami (preferably chicken) ng nga restaurant
15. cook ng bar-b-que (family own recipe)
16. visit daet for my nephews and lola
17. visit my high school classmates
18. dine out with the group (yeepee can’t wait to see them all)
19. go to church (cathedral)
20. eat pandesal (atlantic! damn I miss it)
21. eat sa nalds (even snacks)
22. cook laing (natong), chicharon bulaklak, lanitlanit, and crispy pata
23. ops bicol express na luto ng mom ko
24. ofc course visit the new bars
25. ops pati na nga club m8 (which classmate ko rin un may ari)
26. ay chicharon (chicken skin) sa tabi ng plaza Quezon pati na rin yun scramble (itong may powder milk)

...can't wait! hope i can do all that are listed above!!!

Part II (…continuation) …when is the right time to fall in love and when is the right time to fall out of love?

by gab david / october 25, 2005
12.09 pm office of the chancellor


when my friends told me about what they think what happen to me (in my crumpled relationship and how does it end just like that). it gives me the idea that falling in love is not just like what fairy tale stories used to be. letting the people feel that there is this happy ending in the end of the road. with it , brings the unending story of hope and happiness. with this tagline “…and they live happily ever after”. those enchanted words that can really move the one's life of every being and let the hope in control. but, sometimes, it is beyond of what it suppose to be. looking beyond the shadow of “LOVE” which really give the true identity of happiness in thyself. I can admit that when having someone out there is really thinking of you, which makes one’s life so comfortable. its like when someone open their eyes in one cold autumn morning and having a sweet and simple message, saying good morning my love you always make my day, in your cell phone that makes your day complete.

simple thoughts are everywhere even if you don’t need it. it just pour down from nowhere and all things are seem in place and the rest of the people tend to accept it with no conviction in their hearts. worries are not really welcome and even entertain. what is only acceptable is the happiness and joy that each of one felt. even how hard life may seem still there are this people who submerge a strong ecstasy that really over powered the uncertainties that flows in everyone’s life.

its so funny seeing people who fell onto the trap (captured by the power of LOVE) that even mountain can be move. the feeling of excitement is seemed be the best of everything. its like when you see a child in the play ground playing then suddenly approach you just merely smile. that moment which can make a difference in your life. the innocent and angelic face that touches ones heart that even your soul are being caress with enjoyment.

love is a pungent word. even GOD has used it for us to understand our being. in every prayer that man shared the word “LOVE” is always the main ingredient among all the others. even in deaths love can still be the most emerging word that can rule. countless cry has no equivalent to the melodious acts of love that overruled and empowered the existence of human beings.

people use to be, just, a little bit wiser and stronger when the “LOVE” challenges every human being. the awareness is really overwhelming that even the connectivity of thyself really conquered the wholeness of the time being. its ironic to say that the other side of “LOVE” can be blamed, in some result of words and actions, but it’s the other story of it. it may sound easy to everyone and even comprehension are merely elegant to the ears still the ebb of tide may be astonishing on the other side of the road. affections may always be wondering and wandering as the time comes. so, even people tend to inhale and exhale it as what it should be. uncertainties may be welcome and be hated in the long run. so, loving one’s person may be sounding promiscuous in some people because they are not in the level of being of the two person who emits the true affections in their life.

words may be genius and may sound special and made one’s person to come down to the deepest way of life. abuse of the word “LOVE” can be immeasurable. it can overrule the ever being of ones person. so, let us not be the one who suffer the reward of ignoring the very essence of “LOVE”.

…to be continued

…when is the right time to fall in love and when is the right time to fall out of love?

by gab david
October 23, 2005 / makati city

it was almost midnight when this thought came into my head. it just like a bubble that puff on my face and “whala!” there is this sudden question that really struck me. and from then on, I started to think (even think back when was I fall in love start and what age I am?). I really smile and ask how come people are so crazy about this simple word called “love”? in my recollection, when I was still young, I just heard it from the music, movies and from my relatives(mom, papa, tito’s, tita’s, and friends) and television. but, to be honest I don’t know what does it mean and what’s the big deal about this word? but now, I never thought that even I will be capture of this thing called “LOVE” and even felt it and understand how powerful thing it is. these are some thoughts that linger into my head while I am watching the movie “love actually”. It was almost midnight when it was shown to star movies. how ironic it is, actually I already seen the movie for more than five times or more (if you are curious how I love this movie hehehe!) since it was release two years ago. so, because of that, I ask myself, when was I fall in love(the first time I felt it and to whom)? there are many people that come and go. the people meet and shared my thoughts and even stupidity thing. but, I think the most and longest relationship I ever had in my entire life was lasted for just only eight years (yup! eight memorable years). actually, next month will be my first year anniversary of being single hood (hehehe!). but, its okay, the process was really hard and the changes was not as easy as what everybody thinks.

eight fruitful years, yes, the memories are really still intact. even until this very moment. last week, when I was talking to my friend, whom accidentally ask me for a coffee break, we talk about it. and guess what? she ask the magic word, “di na ba talaga pwede?” (if there will be a possible way that I and my ex fiancée can be together again?) honestly, I don’t know what to answer. if you’ll ask I can answer, as fast as ala sinko, “nope, nada, di na pwede, but deep inside me (it really kills me off while saying those things). its hard to say and just let go of the eight meaningful years that we had. its not just like a toy na if you want another you’ll just pick another one and feel happy again. and what happen to the first toy? nothing it will just be forgotten and put it on the farthest side of the room.

when I find out that she have another and left me(its final). I felt the sudden coldness of the all-coldest thing inside me (get me!). its like the world have just fall unto me and I cannot hold on anymore. to be honest, my dreams automatically shattered. its like, I don’t know where to stand and start ( for all I know we are ready to get married this year). even my relatives are really affected and don’t know what to do. from how many weeks, I never eat and sleep. I just cried and cried. calling her and keep on begging to come back. but, everything I’ve done went to nothing. we just talk and said be friends. even though deep inside is that e are hurting inside.

at start its hard to accept but as the days goes by. I’ve learned to accept little by little and learn to let go of it. but, to be honest, there are times that tears just fall unto my eyes and not knowing the reason why. yet, even the aches are really eating my life from the moment I think of her. still, I am proud, because there are special persons that were at my side(when I the sudden ache broke again) and ready to help and I don’t need to mention them because I know deep inside they know who they are.

now, I cannot say its finally over. but, I am already learning to smile again. and savoring the single hood life again. changes are really hard. but, there’s nothing I can do yet to face the fact that I need to move on. most of my friends told me that, “there’s a reason why it happen” (the famous of all tag line when they all heard). while I am writing this, a good friend of mine told me that, when people fall in love “ its amends all odds and every day and even hour there will be a connection between you and him/her. the connection of every moment that runs in your life were important because of the feelings for her/him. its like when you cross the bridge, that is the time you’ll understand how to mend the wrong and right in life. even how hard, its easy to mend the opportunity that comes in our way. we learn how to fight for the relationship even it is against the ebb tide of life. however, my friend also explains when the person fall out of love there is no reason at all to face the next minute of the day nor even the second for such reason the eagerness that you feel inside is not with you anymore. even, waking up in the morning is not the same as before (meaning excitement was already gone). because you think that there will be nobody anymore that will wait and love you. and even when you open your eyes in the cold morning the feeling was ordinary unlike before.

thoughts are really challenging especially when we talk about being in love and falling out of love. its like every move and actions are connected. everything you see and feel has something to do with every breath you take. love can be there and will always be there. it may come and go. like people who feels it.

…to be continue

...a cold smooth saturday

by gab david
13.54 pm / makati city
october 15, 2005

a little bit of cookie,
a little bit of milk,
a little bit of pages of my book,
a little bit of sip again of milk,
a little bit of cookie again,
a little bit of move from the right,
a little bit move of my feet,
a little of strecth of my back,
and a little bit of smile,
from all of my bits and bites
my life is so clear and smooth
this one cold saturday afternoon...

would it be….

“color red or color green”
by gab david
September 29, 2005 / 3.27 pm


this story was based from a priest’s homily last Tuesday, September 27, 2005 at six to six thirty pm mass, yet, the writer would like to clear that he did some changes in the said story and some parts of it were modified to further understand what’s the real purpose and its behind of the story is all about. this is about choosing which color you would want to pick and which it may have no particular reason as well as why man is unconsciously become one sided person even there can be some possible ways to live a life to its fullest and yet being simple.

once there was a teacher who once told a story to her students in a far flung barangay. the story is about choosing a particular color whether you will choose color red or green. it was one ordinary day for the students, in grade school, and to the teacher. the sun was is in high spirit illuminating the windows from the left of the room. and the ambiance of the classroom was the same as yesterday and the other day. the room are not quite big yet what not too crowded for the whole class to scrambled each other. it’s the usual room like the other public school in the region, a square type, and the tables and chair are arrange in a parallel form, by two’s, in every row. while the teacher was discussing colors and shapes to her students. at the same time, other are busy and some are eagerly listening but some are busy chatting to their sit mates. because of that, the teacher notice that not everybody are attentively listening and participating to the discussion. so, the teacher got an interesting and a simple idea for the student to be able them to divert their attention to her and let them participate again.

so, the teacher said, “okay class lets have a game”. so when the teacher said it to the class. an astonishing reaction just flowed to the room and all eyes and even ears were with her automatically. then, some students said (with giggles in their heart), wow, its exiting, some said, hmm yeepee we will be playing and some said, lets start it, teacher (with excitement all over the room and giggles in every eyes of the students) the teacher now started to ask the simple question. now, the teacher ask, “okay children, this will be too simple, there is two colors, color red and color green, all you need to do is to choose from it. then, I will explain it later the difference of it.” now, the teacher starts to ask and choose a student. student number one, he answered color green! student number two, red, student number three, red, student number four green, student number five, green, student number six, green, and so on and so fort. while the teacher was asking half of the class, there is this one student answered differently to the class. and all the students where, actually, surprised of her answer. then, the room was covered with silence. even the teacher was struck and didn’t answer back, she was astonish at the same time speechless, after she heard the answered of her student. then all eyes, of the teacher and her fellow classmate, are with the her, she said why?(with naïve face, while looking to the class). then, the teacher ask her again, “can you repeat your answer?, the girl said (with conviction), and slowly said “ I choose Stripes”.

if you look unto the story, on the first part, it would sound typical or you might said to yourself “ …I’ve already heard this stuff or oh, its just similar to what my friend said”. so, those things would actually comes in a very usual reaction and can be justify the whole story. actually, the author modifies some of it, so that he wanted to emphasize the soul of the story not merely the flow of the story. as you can see, the author was astonished and really catch his attention of the finale of the story. when the student answered and said, “I choose stripes”. to some of you, you might think of, hey, this girl is crazy, you are being ask to choose one and yet you answered differently. or you might said “ hello, red and green and nothing!” or maybe, this “ are you listening?” but, for the author, the answer of the girl, find him hard to comprehend and it really didn’t sink in automatically. it took him to understand completely after a couple of minutes and realizes why the girl answered “I choose stripes” . actually, it was too simple, people in their life time tend to choose their favorite color in life and pursued it until they reach to the top. but, while in the transition of their life, there’s come a point that from one color they automatically jump to another and follow it because they have realizes that they want that color and need it so much. in spite of having and choose their color. people are changing, the author understand it, but the author would like only to emphasize that sometimes if not most of the time, people tend to jump from one color to another and beck to the original then jump again to the another one and so on and so fort. meaning, people are blinded by one color alone in their life. after choosing what color they preferred they stick to it and when something happen they just immediately jump to another. the author knows that man is insatiable (most of the time) and man wanted more and more and more. but, the in the real life, how come people never chooses the same color or the “stripes” one? and try to live with it. the authors point of view on this, is that, a man can actually live with it (by having the stripes color in life) yet, they just become more and sufficient on one sided mind. the author may sound optimistic on this part but he just wanted to give the possible way to live a simple life which aches are not welcome. despite the world is not as what it should be before in per se. still, it is not also a hindrance if we start to pick the “stripes side of life”. the thinks that it would not be hard from the people to live with it (I guess - having a clear and open to what possible means to come) . changing one’s life would not be hard as what everyone thinks. complications may arrive but the author think that it would not start a big havoc to the society nor could not also kill ones person (eventually). we live in this world for one life time only. so, lets just live it with full of surprise and happiness. as what the authors friend told him one afternoon, hey “ live your life to the fullest”. so, the author guess, why afraid of changes in life if this could lead you to a much better and simple life ahead.

be contented…enough?

by gab david
sometime in September 2005



from now on,
I’ll ,just, be myself
for no one else is at my side
and be with ne
even how hard I wish and hope
I guess
it was time
that dictates
for I will be happy,
if I’ll be myself,
for now,
its what my path said
and with that
I am openly accepting it
with no conviction

Counting the days…is there any particular?

by gab david
1.27 in the morning / room 201 dorm



...It is almost 1.27 in the morning but still I am awake. just done watching, dvd movie – entitled borne supremacy. but, the silence just caught my attention. then, I said to myself, I want to write but I don’t know where to start. There are many things that keep on lurking inside me. the eagerness of thyself to write is all over but it seems that my thoughts are scrambling and keep on fighting each other. Running fast, like a competition and aiming the finish line, and in mind with strong conviction who’ll be the first one to climb on the top - be my que for tonight or this morning, what I mean, for me to start now and let this confusions be contented.

...I was alone, I guess, because my roommate was already sleeping even when I started to watch the movie. Tonight is not an ordinary day – the room is cold due to the rain outside. Its just the same as what other days that seems I cannot sleep and my thoughts are somewhat “lost in translation”. the reason? I don’t know, honestly. I was not really looking forward to this kind of feeling even from the first moment until this very moment. even I knew it before and said to myself that I need to promise to thyself that “things are okay” even though I just said to a good friend of mine who happen to text me awhile ago asking me “how’s your love life?” It’s funny to know and say after receiving it from her saying aloud “I am okay”, yet deep inside of it was the other way around. to be honest, it’s so easy to reply on the text messages to and saying those things but if ever she can only see me now and standing in front of me I guess things will be different.

...Months have, already, past since the “day” – when I become single again for the end time…(he he he he) but still the feeling are very much the same – once in awhile its getting stronger too, as what I used to feel (if I compared it before). for the past two weeks I been suffering insomnia. All I did was keep on thinking and thinking (it’s like there is no ending like a jukebox that keeps on turning and repeating on and on). then, wondering why this keep on coming back? hay this thing is like a non-stop music that keep on moving and moving and moving and it never reach to the last song in the album. Yet, the difference of it is my emotions, which are really involved and affected – even my daily routine is jumbled. I know,

...I have nothing to worry nor blame for what happen to my life – my past relationship, however, there are things in my life that I need to face and clear – for the end time, for I will be worry less person as I continue my journey in life and be proud for I can stand on my own now. I have been asking myself when I will be finishing this ache feeling that keep on crawling in my mind. It is like a ghost that keep on coming back and back, for such reason, there are still unfinished thing that should be done and be rest forever. But, for me, it’s different. I know people whom I have met or totally knew me at all, may react on what I have just said but fear not gab for it is already been written before the time has begun. at the same time I can also foresee them – my close and true friends having this facial expression – with one eyebrow up, “what did we say? it will be just like this and that. however, I admit my faults and still be proud for I never think any regrets for Iit is a new challenges to thyself and learning to face. and even I explain it I guess the feeling would be different for such reason - “ only those people whom experienced the same feelings could only understand even it happen again and again or over and over. to be honest people tend to act they know everything but it is the other way around especially there might be some similarity – that happen in their lives. its is not a question, I also know there is something that is comparable but still differences in feeling and experiences are really unique.

...My thoughts are really not in level or even in the right portion. so, pardon me for saying this, I may not in a good position to explain nor elaborate what’s really bothering inside my mind. This morning, pains in my heart are kept on getting heavier and heavier. each time passes by. From this moment, all I think, I am done and surpassed the “healing stage”. I’ve been praying this for almost three months already and keep on asking HIM, “please I know YOU have a good plan for me, all these things in my life have something to do with my tomorrow. for it is also my life in near future. But sometimes, to be honest, I doubted YOU because of such aches that come into my life and it is hard to handle”. I know I am in no position to say all of it, because in the first place, YOU have just given me the wish as well as gift I’ve asked for so long. However, because of my selfishly act, numbness, and carelessness in life I lost everything YOU gave. But, I said why now? Why this sudden disturb notions?

...Sometimes I just told myself to fight back and never dwell unto past because I know it will just affect my life. Yet, to be honest I am afraid and lost never knew what to act and do. Maybe because, I was used to it (for almost eight years my life was focused to someone) but in just one mistake that I’ve done… and then the reward of it was unpredictable…everything that I have were totally flown away and never return back. my stupidity in life is not a questions. and to be honest, there are these routine stuff before that I already missing already? but, even though I wanted to reminisce those days (even everyday again and again...) and let my craving for enjoyment be satisfied. then, let the moment ease out at the same time the aches - inside me, even it is a temporary only. To be honest, it (really) works but still completeness of it was not an issue…

...Who would think that these things would reach up to this point? But, to just to make it clear, I am not blaming anybody. But, it is just that… mysterious things really happen and proves that the need for preparedness of thyself should be in high priority – (RED ALERT) for security reason. most of the times it’s hard to explain. Moods are really choosy. Temperamental personality is at (always) its pick.

...Now, I am still suffering the ache I created. But, I know time will come and may overcome then be able to stand and ready to face my life. But, at this moment I need to let my thoughts to feel the present way – accepting what you have and never ask for more but it does not mean you need to stop dreaming, furthermore, I need also to learn how to wait and be very careful for every step I take. from now on my actions should be slowly as what it should be for a good result – by trying to understand and be focus on the things around me because the answer I am looking for is just in front of me knocking on my face. sensitivity in life is what should everybody need, for such reason, there are limitations in every actions we do. for it is easy for everyone to accept such surprises that may come. And lastly, coming up with something – like being with someone in particular. the chances are out there flowing and paralleled to it are the plans of happiness. But be careful never mix it up. For life may be deceiving from the start then complications may follow and the chances are people tend to be blind and because of that it might misses and fall out again for the second or end time.

... Realizing now that life has full of surprises and it does not stop even sunset is near. Yet, it started to the very first rule in life (being attentive and aware to the surroundings even you all know things are okay). looking to the bright morning and slowly learning to feel the how the sun sets and rises gives me a wonderful feeling that lights up my heart. because of that things now are slowly clearing up then confusions have already begin to depart. Yet, it is not easy to accept neither get it right nor be on the appropriate track as what the racer always does. Because changes in life are not easily be comprehended as much as what you wish for. Certain steps are needed to be follows to be able to reach what you wish and the best for thyself.

...I guess I need to cut this and continue it in some other time. For now, I should be giving my thoughts a benefit of doubt. For, now, it will justify the past and be able prepare for tomorrow. Yet, the most important in this journey in life is to enjoy the present life we have, for it will make who am i. having this important ingredient (which I think it cannot be forgotten by anyone) in life (that I myself been carrying it since I learned to use it) is no other than, the SMILE in your face. actually, correct me if I am wrong, from the start everyone has it…and now, let me just say, “let me rest, for tomorrow is another day and a new learning will awaits and shower our lives”. Finally, it is already 2.46 in the morning. Now, can say this, “let’s call it a day…”

...little hope

By gab david
September 28, 2005 / 12.07 pm


As the night have just fallen sleep
I look outside
To clear my mind
Feel the coldness that shivers
Dreaming with nice and easy passion
Will just flow around

As I look back again
And yet, suddenly i felt
a tiny feeling
that simple smile that keep on waving
Like the rain that giggles when it touches my face
Feeling the sort of calmness that may seem to grow more

The mere idea of you
That keeps on coming back
As I look through the stained glass wall of the house
Even how hard I brushed it out
Still your face remains like a permanent fragrance of sampaguita

As the time surpasses me by
I just let it flow
And merely got it under my skin
In spite of the foolishness that just knocked me off
For the numbness is what recourse in life

Before, the leaves were the dancers of the night
Even the music was merely the silence of the night
But now, things have just change
Tenderness had surpasses far beyond
At last the foolish heart just awaken

As I look again
And never stop wondering
deeply and hard
For I know I will find the cherish ness in my heart
Which the better ness of thy self will emerge soon

How sweetness is it to find someone
where, it was just there all along
With true devotion that I offer
From the better ness of thyself
It will again rein the heart of sweetness freedom

Now, night is not a hindrance anymore
Even everyone was asleep
And silence have just conquered the evening
Still the whisper of morning dew has to start now
Because, fragrance of the sun will come along

The best will yet to come
So let the water flow inside you
For it bares the sweetness honey of tomorrow
And now, be not frightened
For the romance will ruled the days forever

anguish ness of the past

By gab david
September 27, 2005 /11. 28 pm


As the night passes by
The stars started to show
From the shadow ness of aches
Beneath the hurtful anguished moment
That keeps on crawling from the night

But that sudden pains
Are just merely layers of thin ness?
That can be easily be sweep away
By simple touch

Crashing hands are all over
From time to time
This cannot be ignore
Or even be mistaken
For this will tell the tale of the past

From far beyond
Those inconsistencies
That lurked from beneath
Will never ever climb
The lofty place of compassionate

For tomorrow will be another tale
And a beginning of an end
From that it memoirs
Will be forgotten
And yet, forever will be in the heart of a lifeless man

as i depart

By gab david
September 3, 2005
11.20 p.m. / main library


Yes, I always say sorry
Yes, I always follow you
Yes, I obey you
Yes, I always wish,
That tomorrow will be longer
Yes, I tell you this,
Thank you
Yes, I promise
Yes, I get mad
Yes, I am insensitive
Yes, I shout
Yes, I cry
Yes, I hope you are with me
Yes, I said to you,
Always smiles
Yes, I never complain
Yes, I will be there even I am in pain
Yes, I am here,
When you need help
But, for now,
Let me say this,
No, for the first time,
Because I am already gone and its forever

a moment

by gab david
septmeber 27, 2005 / 1.25 pm


today i write the saddest line
from nowhere in sight
and ask for someone
and yet no one is there

i wanted to sleep
and let my thoughts be filed with emptiness
for i will achieve the absolute silence
that kept on begging me
every since i was born
until this very last moment of time

because of this noisy confusion
that once crawled over my life
and never let go of me
with that it stopped me from being silent

sometimes i want the time to stop
for it, rejoice will just shower upon me
but time is so uncompassionate
even how deeply i beg
still there is no respond

from time to time
still asking and wishing
that one day
my wish will be granted

so now, i just continue my life
for i will just keep on hoping
that someday
the saddest feeling in my life
will just pause
and say goodbye
if that time happen
my life will live again
the simplest way it should be
and aches will just a mere past
and just be part of my life
forever

sophia...

dear sophia naomi,

you may not know me very well or you don't really know me at all, as what you mom and dad knew me, actually i'm one of the many godfather you have, which I insisted to be your godfather with command to your mother.i don't know when will you be reading this simple message that i made just for you. but, what I am hoping id that, when the right time comes, you'll know me through this simple message i made for you. if ever, i drop by or even accidentally visited your house someday you'll recognize me already. anyhow, I guess now, you are reading this - the "day", so pardon me to my simple message. now, let me start this simple utterance that i dedicate just for you.

the first time i saw you
you were only a week old
so small and fragile
you were so innocent looking
like an angel from heaven
you bore the joy and love for your parents
if you could have only seen them
the momment that they gazed at you
how your mother cried
because of the happiness inside her
how blissful they were
having you in their lives
it was all a wish come true
how marvelous it was
there were no words to explain
even the expression on their faces
or what they felt
because of your fragility
was never a hindrance for them
to smile
fill the joy
and even the presence of love was there
all of it
because of you,
Sophia Naomi

your godfather,
gab david

another rainy day for gabby...

6.45 in the evening

By gab david

I woke up early

At around 7.35

And was happy

because I didn’t have insomnia

its like a pile of joy

because I sleep straight with no cut-offs

the reason I am saying this because

For the past few weeks

I kept on having this type of Routine

That,

I always woke up around 3 in the morning

Then sleep back around 5 in the morning

Even I sleep late around 12 or 1

It really starts to kill me

The cause

I don’t know why

But the cost to me is really big

Even though I do some regiments

Like count numbers

From one to billion (no just joking)

But I do count (to divert my mind)

Sometimes I do read novel (poem compilations)

To let my head and eyes feel the power of sleep

Then, Sometimes I sit on my study table

Then I write

Anything that runs in my head

And those things that really knocking and bothers

But mostly

I just stare on the ceiling

With no lights

Then kept on changing position in my bed

Just like looking for the best spot

To let my body rest

But still I end up

Awake

and still my eyes are wide open

So, that’s my routine every night (for more two weeks now)

Anyhow, today

I woke up early

and it was raining

well, Just little bit shower (little tiny but continuous)

so, I rush and take a shower

and off I go to Makati (condo)

To visit my sister and deliver their laundry

(they ask me to take the laundry – reason “much cheaper”)

So, that’s my day, still raining

and I just stayed in the condo

with my sister

The whole rainy day…