…a stunnin’ revelation!

8.46 am / December 31, 2005

mom’s room

Last night I went out with some of my closest friends (mitch, esche, embeng, totot) with some astonishing revelation. First, I went out and circle around the busy streets of our centro (people tend to do their late shopin’ galore for new year) with hopes I can bump some old friends. Unfortunately, after three rounds (even it was raining I manage to walk on the wet and sort of “muddy”). Finally, I decided to text my friend mitch –

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Inlove na mitch

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So, I walk again waiting for the reply. After a couple of minutes, my phone ring and vibrate.

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Inlove na mitch

Kauuwi pa lang house. Kaw?

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Want to go out and eat or coffee. I am bored and been two days I just stayed in the house

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With hopes that she can go out with me and together we’ll kill the time together. While walking with no where to go , I text esche.

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esche

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Then, again, my phone ring and vibrate. While I was standing in the traders squares.

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Inlove na mitch

Cge. Puntahan kta sainyo cguro. Toothbrush lang ako at pahinga k0nti. Kararating ko lang galling sa wedding.

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Okay. But I’m here in centro. Which is okay for you I wait for you sa red platter or lucky 9.

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While thinking where will be the best landmark and easiest way for mitch and easy way for esche house. Then, my phone ring and vibrate.

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Esche

Im at home. Wait lng mamamalantsa lng ako.

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Okay. We’ll pick you in awhile.

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After sending the reply text and standing in front of traders square (actually in the middle of red platter and chowking). Somebody shouted my name, “GABRIEL” (a loud woman voice from my right), surprise and happy to see. It was embeng to gether with tita walking. So I walk with them while chattin’ some things. Embeng saying that she doesn’t know that I am already here because nikki told her that I’ll not go home. While tita on our side, tita ask if I am with someone, “girlfriend” – what she mean, I said, “I wish tita”, then she thought I have already and told her I have sana si “liah” (then I laugh). But, tita said, bestfriends should not be lovers (with a joke on the last word). So, I waited for mitch while I was busy talking to embeng. Then, she call nikki and liah. Hoping they can come. But, both are not available. after twenty minutes or less. Mitch was outside waiting for me while I was still on the phone talking to nikki. So, I went out and manage to grab embeng and totot to join with us (but they’ll just meet us in bean bag). So, we went to esche house to pick her up and go straight to magsaysay to look for the place to eat. We end up at coco leaf and order a bunch of food. Mind you, esche paid for it! (thanks esche! Mwah mwah mwah) then, embeng and totot arrive which we are almost done. After paying the bill, we immediately transferred to bean bag for a cup of coffee. The place was full and lots of people whom I know back then were there. A little bit of chat and looks for a table. While walking and getting inside. Guess who I saw, it was ‘LEMONADA” with her friends (surpassingly – the world is too small for us! hahaha).

So, we manage to have a table. We sit and order (the usual for me black brewed coffee and the rest whatever!). then, while sitting there and having some chat with friends and old classmates coming from (st. joseph school, naga parochial school and ateneo de naga university) and enjoying the things around us. I thought I was just the one notice tha the place is full of young ones. Then, I just out of curiosity throw a question to my friends, “they are all young, and I feel I’m too old for this place?”. Then, the “stunnin’ revelation” have just flowed inside my mind. When embeng said, “Gab, we are old!” (with honest conviction in her voice). A reality check that really keep on flowing on me…

The generation now was clearly unstoppable. They have all the luxuries in the world that can offer (having the tools and gadgets that keep on sprouting like a mushroom every now and then). The world was really (literally) “getting small” for everyone. Looking them (the young ones) I don’t know what to say (with a little bit of worry inside me, yet, a little bit happy for them because they can still manage things even are really not as what it was then). Stunt yet understands what really the world brings us. Still, there is this thing pulling me back to think. Something that could really explain that am I really this too old enough and never knows what (entire thing) really the worlds offers or I am just simply never cares for quite sometime…? I know this might be usual for you but I am just worried for the next ones. What would be the next?

Many people says or maybe I say that,

“…live you life today with full of compassion, excitement, adventure, and hopes then let the past be a guidance, challenge and learning and let tomorrow mind her way for today will give you the ideas and decisions how to handle…” – gab david

…what would be the best feeling?

7.49 am / December 31, 2005

mom’s room

I left manila last 20 of this month. To recharge myself and feel the warmth hugs and kisses of my family and friends (or new ones if possible). Even though I knew before(deep inside me – that I’ll carry my hopes, dreams and never ever have my bad dreams anymore which is, usually, a not so good one) that would like be the previous feelings I have everytime I step out on the bus and said “I am home”. It’s like the memories of the past will just flow around me like the wind tat come and go. Touching every bit of my body until it reaches to my innermost subconscious that could lead to sadness and cries (not again, please…). Nonetheless, I pack my things (with some gifts from the office and things for the family) and carry on with my journey home (even though I have this mix feelings inside me that even the clouds are cheering up with more rains in my travel - hahaha). With book at side, the da vinci code, and my disk player, listening to these following albums – pinoy ako (a collaborated mix songs of pinoy), Barbie the singles, and hale, that complete my travel with a little bit joy in my heart (but mostly, sadness which is starting to eat me).

So, this would be my first stop! Honestly, while the bus started to run and continue the task bringing the entire passenger (with hopes and excitement in their heart) I, on-the-other-hand, have this saddest feeling carrying inside me. Pain that keep on striking me everytime I have this journey home. We all knew that it’s been more than a year since my eight (ups and down) years of relationship to the one I really love in my entire life have happend in my very little city. Every corner of the walls, busy streets, and even the interesting places (memorable one’s) that sparking every bit of my memory that (ones I said to sleep and never wake up) left inside my heart are starting to click, ones in a while, I run unto the busy centro while I walk. One reason In my life that I need to over come and fix because I know I cannot just run and pretend that its nothing (acting that I am blinded with it and there is no possible cure like it’s a permanent until I die) blinding my memory and just continue my journey with back lags on my back every time I visited our city. I know, this is just same old story or a merely everybody’s sad story you’ve heard but mind you – when your time comes, that’s the time you’ll shout and say “oh this is it!” and wishing that it didn’t happen and seen it before it comes. But, that is what we call life. It’s too late for us to say that because everything have just tumble down and your life have just crash once again and needed a renovation or a new one to build.

It’s funny to say and think, while I am writing this, I am smiling – thinking every bit of things I have in my twenty-six-years living in this tricky world, that everybody lived. but, to tell you, we all know that its not everyday is a happy day for everybody. We need to live with some ups and downs to surpass this roller coaster life to be able to “STAND”, “REBUILD”, and “RESTORE” for us to feel the true life brings us.

one fine cold rainy friday...

still raining outside...

i woke up late this morning due to the marathon korean dvd last night. its almost 3 am when i cuddle my bed this morning. the room was filled with silence and cold ness. after the two dvd i watch entittled, the classic (two times) and my dady long leg(five times), which i really enjoy watching. to be honest, i watched it already i just wanted to repeat it again and agian just feel the "kilig" feeling in every scenes.

so, one more thing, i am also excited tonigths' "EB". so, i grab my ipod and my bag then walk thru my office. while listening to the cool music(bossa nova).
while working i open my blog as well as the blogs of my new found friends trantric, interrupted, wickedmoonlight, and lemonada for some updates for tonight grand "EB" of "singles' group". unfortunately, (a little bit sad feeling) it will be resched to other time and date. due to some unexpected thing. anyhow, it okay atleast we have the eagerness to meet and to enjoy ourselves which is "being happy even single".

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now, i'm just done my (heavy) lunch with my boss and officemates. i check the blogs for possible updates. happy to know that some people are there responding to every message i tag.

8 Dec 05, 21:33 kurimaw: meet na lang tayo pag uwi ko uli dun kahit san sama na alng antin si interrupted. sa mga batchmates kong coffee shops and resto

8 Dec 05, 21:32 kurimaw: oh sige sama ka! hehehe! yun ung ticket ko nakuha then balik ko 2 kasi ala na akong makuhang maaga. buti na alng confortect kinuha ko! courtesy of my achie

8 Dec 05, 20:39 wickedmoonlight: wow! sarap naman! alam nyo bang pangarap kong pumunta ng bicol? sama ako!!:D

8 Dec 05, 20:29 lemonada: waaahhh buti ka pa sa 20 na uwi ng naga... 23 pa ako...waahhh talaga

8 Dec 05, 20:14 kurimaw: excited pa naman ang lahat! hehehe! so, basta bago ako uwi ng naga sa 20. see you

with that, its great to have people whom you barely know and yet, you have this connections (even trust) that gives eveyone a same feeling of "belongingness". i am so happy and really proud of it. thanks for you guys (tantric, lemonada, wickedmoonlight, interrupted, and many more). hope that we'll meet soon! and enjoy our (single) life! hahahaha!

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"...it may be raining outside, to some it is not good weather, but for me, its the best moment,
for this is only the time that our heart are being touch by the amazing gift from HIM, because life may not be as what we ought always there are also chances that gives our souls some spices in life..." -gab david

------listening the album bossa disney nova while doing this blog :)

Now being me (with him)…

12.17 am / doms room (235 east 2 republic - dorm)
December 2, 2005


With his simple smile
A naughty (devilish) look in the face
As well as the loud laughs
From one corner to another

The voice that can be heard
Or even (loud) laughter
And even reactions from the conversations
That even passers-by would turn their head

From one ring on the phone
Or even a text message (cell phone or yahoo messenger)
Automatically you’ll have his (ever) presence
Like a flash of light in every explosion

A shoulder you can cry on
A totally freak but funny guy
That would make some corny faces and jokes (mostly corny)
Just for the sake of one smile

Sometimes or most of the time
He may (be) an eye sore (for you)
Because of his (talkative) attitude cum personality (non-stop)
Or (repetitious) stories that’s like a juke box in your ears

He who loves feel good music (? Whatever music that comes)
And sings even it’s not necessary (most of the time out of tune)
Just to make you laugh (or it may not please your ears)
But what’s good about him is his (game) attitude

People might have (most of the time) had a wrong impression (due to his loudness)
Or wonder and ask who’s that person (while raising one eyebrow)
And (be) confuse (asking “is he a gay?”)
Because of his vain manifestations (vanity in clothes, manner of speak, and actions)

On the other hand, being with him was the best part (as what everybody says)
Not just for his (corny) jokes and stories but also his unique manner in conversing
“When you are with him, there is never a dull moment”
A comment that just explains his true (down to earth) personality

But sometimes he can be (too) serious
(Especially) when it comes to “love and relationships”
Or see how he cries (from a commercial ads to movies)
A soft side that only (closest) friends knew about (high respect on women)

So, these are some bits and bites of him
A little pinch of everything (that you can’t resist, I dare you)
Knowing him from the start (until to your last breath)
And saying to others (people you’ll meet) proudly (:now being me with him is…)

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After two mugs of Columbian brewed coffee with no sugar and cream

As I change…

By gab david
8.38 pm / doms room (235 east 2 republic - dorm)
December 1, 2005


I tried to do things
Which I saw from others
Or even (from the things) I notice from my closest friends

A little bit of this
For it will make me different
And be like what the others do

Then trying a pinch of that
From what they say its better
Blending from the crowd (be with them)

Simple acts of something
Which creates (some) different actions
That keeps everyone in level

But having it
For awhile made me notice
To wonder, wander and keep me moving

For I ask my self
The simple question (that just shot me)
From the changes, did I make a (some) change(s)?

A life may be difficult (sometimes or most of the time)
For (many) years that have come
But (I said) let the present (acts) rule tomorrow (just for now)

With those simple acts (you have)
(your) life need not to be questioned
And yet, be satisfied with the simplicity of a smile

The last time…

By gab david
8.11 pm / doms room (235 east 2 republic - dorm)
December 1, 2005

It’s been awhile since I said this,
“When was the last time I smiled with my closest friend?”
I’ve been trying to recall it
Deeply digging into the deepest subconscious ness
Like drilling towards my innermost soul
Dissecting every bit and layer of my memory
Until it reaches to the end point where the source is settling

But I could not figure when was it
The true essence of freedom ness
That once ran into my blood
Like the laughter in every face
Or even the joy that can be seen in the life of every child
And even the sudden momentum that (keep on) linger(ing) in their lives

Or this,
“When was the last time I felt the warmth of a hug?”
And suddenly feel the fast rushing blood inside me
Even the eagles’ eyes are useless
For I already have the indescribable feeling
And even the mountain can move at the same time

This may be hard to comprehend
This notion that (keep on) shout(ing) from within
From the moment I glance the farthest place
Gazing through the unrestrained fields
Wandering and wondering

After a long day
The world has just evaded the light
And even the darkness has started to rule
Covering every bit of sight I partake
Like the slowly conquering silence

Now, thru this non-sense notion
A newly born resolution has erupted
Crying all out and only I can hear
Crashing every bit of my nerves
From the smallest particles inside
Through the deepest senses of understanding

The weak ness of this life that I partake
Has now turned into a nostalgic life
A point of question or assurance
For this will be a beginning
Of the last time…