...life in two environment

I am listening the three album of famous duo, M.Y.M.P., that is stored to my ate’s mini ipod. Its almost eleven quarter in the evening. I have nothing to do, for such reason I slept the whole afternoon. Yup I am a big bump person. I have things to finish but I am not doing it. Its because I can’t find the master, momentum, that triggers me to write my very own paper. So, that I can get my masters degree and move on to another step of my life, hmm what would be that?.... But, let me first leave that, just let it sit on that that corner side and I’ll just go back on that soon and that’s a promise but not this moment okay.

There are lots of things I wanted to say and do in my life. But, i just can’t do it. The reason is that…I can’t easily express it. I envy nga those people have the courage to face the real life. Meaning, the real situations that their lives are undergoing. it may sound difficult but still they able to walk, run, and even stand it with full confident and have this power to face the real struggle in life. I salute you! Hay….life in this world is really hard. Anyway, we are here because we deserve to live and enjoy it even how difficult it may sound. But, I guess it’s the way it should. so that, we can easily learn the things we have right now. and that why, I am trying my very best to figure it out and what really are the things that I need to work on, more?, not just for myself but I guess to the people also that I meet in my journey in life.

Honestly, I didn’t see myself that I can be in UP diliman studying. Harbouring my very own thoughts, then, let my creative mind ruled over my life and sometimes some people said “with flying colours”. Hahahahaha! It’s the reward of being part of it. Well, its funny, but its true. There are times when I was alone walking around and wondering and talking to myself with this famous line “ I can’t imagine that you gab will be part of the real environment of UP”. It may sound supid but I guess even now that famous tag line of mine keep on lurking inside me. Hehehehehe! belonging to the great thinkers, as what people said “belonging to the cream of crop”, here in the Philippines I guess it’s a great pleasure. And yet, I don’t , nor occur in my mind that I belong to the real circle, the nature of being true born peyups!

Coming from an environment that teaches to be “men and women for others” is really hard. Especially, the manner of conversation that people used and even the actions that you’ll do is not just done one overnight sleep. It takes a great effort to overcome and learn all of being true person with dignity and especially the manner of affirming every word that comes out to your mouth had conviction. It may sound that part of me experienced a culture shock but honestly it’s the other way around. It so happen that I am a type of person that can easily adopts an environment what kind it may be. I immediately figure it out the true way of life that peyups people do. I have nothing against to it. I love it! It thought me so many things which I never have in the previous way of life I’ve been through. The real thinkers and the way they talk and converse really amaze me. Still, I can’t hide that there are certain things I don’t agree but it doesn’t mean I don’t respect the way they defend their ideology in life. Still I have this tiny conservative way of thinking and following my beliefs.

Now, I can say that because of the different environment I come through in this journey in life. Still I cannot say that I can easy face tomorrow that holds my path. What I can do is to feel the present time and let tomorrow holds the future. I have already learned from the past I guess let it be a lesson and a challenge for me in facing the real life of tomorrow. So, let me live the way it should be and try to make myself happy. I guess it’s the best possible way of having a life in this world a better one….

falling day

by gab david
edited by rain peñales
april 26, 2005

the city full of cries
lifts my pains towards the sky
making places of the past more pleasant
but it was too much to carry
after all it was just because of a single mistake
a misguided action that crumpled everything
fooling everything
making love unrealistic as what it is supposed to be
crushing every heart in this place
flashing hte unacceptable acts
whatever it may cause
on the celebration of illusions of nonsense
that overrun the life of people
now, everybody suffers
nothing to do with it except acceptance
and let time rules
in this world i was born
seeing the real rubbishness and coveting
things that are really uncontrollable
no matter how hard it is to hold on to goodness
still inperfection rules
death is all over
decomposing from one place to another
rotten but still you can feel the blackness of it
now, i hold on
trying to think about tomorrow's action
no matter how hard i cry
still there will be no tomorrow for me
because i am one of the rotten men,
hopelessly grasping for the breath
a second from now
i'll be in the next life
a life that is uncertain
so, goodbye to my old body
and let my soul live through time

bored!

i woke up around 6 in the morning.
just to fix again myself and do the same routine, take a bath, fix myself and leave.
but today was different. well, because added some function to my my daily routine weekdays.
yup! honestly, it took me to do it around 30 minutes. shame, this silly but not so silly thing of mine, really eats my time. guess what it is?
..... i add a pair of eyes!yup, i had four eyes now! i belong to the nerdy group! hehehehe (giggle)! joke! no, i had my contact lens already! at last, i can see now. as in 20 20 vision hehehehe! yepee!!!!! horay!!! allelulia, allelulia, allelulia......(the angels in the out field are singing and dancing!)
but, lets go back, honestly its really got my time. so, after a long fixing and calculation on putting my contact lens. i run fast and go to work. i arrive 10 minutes before 8 in the morning.
so, i just read the newspaper wile waiting for the files to eb filed. then, after that i sit and wait. this, is monday! i said to myself. dep inside me i am shouting "EVERY WORKS IN MONDAY!!!!!" so i am not. i am exemption to the rule! hehehehe!
so, i check my e-mail and read them. then, my boss ask me to finish the things i left last week (filling the old files and putting it on the right cabinet shelves).
then, the time run so fast as fast as "the flash"! hmm, i do really sound corny!
so, its already 12 when i left the office. then, i went to my dorm to eat my lunch and stayed there for couple of hours. i was really bored!
now, i am really bored! so i guess need to look for my energy! gotta have some? can i have? this is the same day as yesterday and the other day...

an extra ordinary day

by gab david
april 13, 2005

things was so great
it was 7.30 in the morning
when I arrive at the office
the sun was up shining with happiness
however, the angry clouds covered
with no conviction at all
so, I just continue and wait
for the things I need to do
while waiting for the files I need to be filed
this day was something
a new day to look forward
smiling and scared of what will it bring me
but I am confident enough to face it
now, I listen to music
mostly the songs now are really something
its all about love and life
rhythm in the music are really touching me
I can’t figure it out why
but I am not a fool not to justify
ain’t not that at all
I just really excited to have this day
I may sound catastrophic
but I am sure of the things I am with
this is what life brings me
not asking for what will happened next
just simple excited in things that would come
like having something you can’t see
or having a surprise gift from a long time friend
that’s what I am feeling right now
excited but fear is pouring
thunder volts may come
I am ready to face it with smiling face
so, walk with me and share what you have
you never know what would you get also…

come and get me

by gab david
april 13, 2005

I stood around
for a day
nothing to do
just wait and wait
every hour of the day
waiting for you
stretching out in the grass
keep wondering
then I even told myself a story out of the clouds
yet still I am here
lying down next to an acacia tree
waiting for you
holding the time
feeling so excited
thinking of many things
dreaming with happy thoughts
having you in my side
I may look like stupid
but the hell with what people says
all I know is that
I am here waiting for you

a wishful dream

by gab david
april 5, 2005

this day was a great one
it was exactly five o’clock in the morning
when I was awaken by a sudden dream
it was about my long time crush, it could be love?
she was really happy having me in her life
the happiness in her eyes really glows in every bit of dream I have
however, the true scenario of my dream was really vague
the place was familiar
yet I can picture where it was
but what is important is that
I am happy having her at my side
her sweet and simple smile that brings joy to my life
even until this very moment
I can still feel it
I wanted to sleep so that I can continue my dream
but I don’t know what happen
all I know I dreamt of her again
but the place was different
yet still we are both happy each other
the feeling was really hard to discribe
I woke up at six in the morning
and stand to get ready at 6:03
I get the lacoste polo shirt that my achie gave me last December
and a pair of socks
I went through the bathroom to take a bath
after having my shower in cold morning tuesday
the freshness of my body was illuminating through the room
so, i finalize the things, like my hand bag, earphone, cellphone, ballpen and lastly money,
thats all, what women says "kikay kit" stuff
then, i grab the laundry bag which I need to bring to UP diliman for laundry
hold my book, entitled one hundred years of solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez,
which I bought last holy Wednesday at national bookstore, alimall,
until now I am still reading it
so ride the jeep going to buendia mrt station
waited for 20 minutes
then reached the Quezon avenue station
ride a jeep again going to UP diliman campus
went to my dorm, ipil residence hall, to just drop my laundry
because my laundry lady will just pick it up,
then ate my breakfast
then went office, office of the chancellor, quezon hall, until 12 noon.
well, it's only my half day life.

sadness in vein

by gab david
april 5, 2005


it was the day I want to smile
but that same day was the opposite one
the austerity of happiness have just evaporated
crushing every single happy blood that runs into my veins

I know it is just the fruit of life
having what you want
but never getting what you wish
because its what supposed to happened

sad to think
its what the people understand
from all walks of life
daring to accept what ever it may be

running from one side
just to have what it aim for
but its suddenly drifted from nowhere
like the smoke from the forest

changeable life was given
will was to rule
power was in hand
yet when it reach the end point nothing was there

this is a life of a worthless man
like me with no tomorrow
just succumb in the time that is being given
with no hesitation on any matter comes