talking to you...

12.18 am
Gab david
05/19/06


There are times that the need for longing ness is needed for me to overcome the unstructured life that just keep on knocking on my heart.
So, that the hatred that been lurking inside as well as tears that on flowing on my eyes will be forever be forgotten.
I know it’s been awhile since I lost the sense of belong ness and be love by someone else.
A complete stranger that accepted you despite the differences that runs into your mind and feelings.
The way of life that never and could not be put in one path of life.
Living in a very mundane way and be partner to a very on the go personality.
That was the life then.
It’s like a challenge in life like what the sailor said every time they drift apart into the roaring ocean.
Yet, everything goes smoothly.
Thanks to the good climate like my understanding and true acceptance with no conviction inside. At first, the up’s and down are just keep on coming and flowing over.
Like the waters that keep on splashing over the den of the ship that even washing it out still it just will come and pour at any point of time.
So, that was the real life I have until the big moment have just come and change the true course of my life.
I thought that my life is now over and there is no more tomorrow for me.
A future that is really for me, alone.
Or even a day that full of excitement.
That even time is just a mere accessory for awhile because what is important is that the ever moment feeling that just shower over me.
But, when will that be?
How come it’s so easy for everyone to say or even dreamt of something that will make our lives be on the top and be love?
But, what the reality gives is the other way around.
Sometimes, the revolution inside are eager to explode due to the unfairness that the reality shows.
Either you neither make your own move or waited for the next move nor didn’t mind what tomorrow will share.
This is what I am feeling at this moment.
I don’t want to count on the days nor even eagerly rushing the day because I might meet the “ever” and “the one” for me.
Yet, when the days come and near to an end I still have an empty handed.
After a week of no idea of what the current news due to my busy schedules, like reports, papers, and quizzes, that preoccupied my entire life which before it was just merely a free hassle day. Anyhow, I was saying that, the other day when I had a minute to peep on the newspaper and hurriedly check on the entertainment section and the horoscope part.
I immediately scan.
To my surprised, is said that, something like this but not exactly sort of the essence of it, “…don’t look for someone to be love and even pursue of something that is too far to reach for the one you are looking for is just at your side waiting for you to look and grab…” I was suddenly moved yet puzzled.
At the same time, I reacted so normal yet, I was moved by it.
The smile on my face was just unexplainable.
From then on I just go back to the reality of my mundane day.
Yet, on the back of my mind I was really asking who and where is that person that the horoscope is referring.
I been reading horoscope for so long but it is that day when I encountered a very interesting yet move bothering one.
Actually I just fed up the real news I read and saw in the newspaper that why I end up reading the entertainment and lifestyle portions of the newspaper.
For me to have a very easy way of life and never felt the aches that news brings.
Absorbing the funny and easy life moving story that I read really fueled my daily jovial life.
I hate to admit but its true that I just waned to escape to the reality that enveloping my daily life and even tried to run off to my nightmares in the past.
But, still I end up having them once in awhile.
And even sometimes I have them in my mind every minute for the day. And when day came I just smile even my heart are just starting to cry so hard like a child that was left in one dark corner.
Shouting yet cannot be heard because it was just inside.
Only those knew me so much will notice it.
But, the question is that, who can really read it?
So, those things are just what my life goes.
Its not what you think.
A colorful one that even rainbow is present even in rainy days or even hot summer. So, everything is just merely a wishful thinking.
Nothing more, nothing less.
A merely simple ordinary way of life.
A very private yet, open to everything that may come in life.
Totally dependable in what life can give especially what the present will share to me.