mom’s room
I left manila last 20 of this month. To recharge myself and feel the warmth hugs and kisses of my family and friends (or new ones if possible). Even though I knew before(deep inside me – that I’ll carry my hopes, dreams and never ever have my bad dreams anymore which is, usually, a not so good one) that would like be the previous feelings I have everytime I step out on the bus and said “I am home”. It’s like the memories of the past will just flow around me like the wind tat come and go. Touching every bit of my body until it reaches to my innermost subconscious that could lead to sadness and cries (not again, please…). Nonetheless, I pack my things (with some gifts from the office and things for the family) and carry on with my journey home (even though I have this mix feelings inside me that even the clouds are cheering up with more rains in my travel - hahaha). With book at side, the da vinci code, and my disk player, listening to these following albums – pinoy ako (a collaborated mix songs of pinoy), Barbie the singles, and hale, that complete my travel with a little bit joy in my heart (but mostly, sadness which is starting to eat me).
So, this would be my first stop! Honestly, while the bus started to run and continue the task bringing the entire passenger (with hopes and excitement in their heart) I, on-the-other-hand, have this saddest feeling carrying inside me. Pain that keep on striking me everytime I have this journey home. We all knew that it’s been more than a year since my eight (ups and down) years of relationship to the one I really love in my entire life have happend in my very little city. Every corner of the walls, busy streets, and even the interesting places (memorable one’s) that sparking every bit of my memory that (ones I said to sleep and never wake up) left inside my heart are starting to click, ones in a while, I run unto the busy centro while I walk. One reason In my life that I need to over come and fix because I know I cannot just run and pretend that its nothing (acting that I am blinded with it and there is no possible cure like it’s a permanent until I die) blinding my memory and just continue my journey with back lags on my back every time I visited our city. I know, this is just same old story or a merely everybody’s sad story you’ve heard but mind you – when your time comes, that’s the time you’ll shout and say “oh this is it!” and wishing that it didn’t happen and seen it before it comes. But, that is what we call life. It’s too late for us to say that because everything have just tumble down and your life have just crash once again and needed a renovation or a new one to build.
It’s funny to say and think, while I am writing this, I am smiling – thinking every bit of things I have in my twenty-six-years living in this tricky world, that everybody lived. but, to tell you, we all know that its not everyday is a happy day for everybody. We need to live with some ups and downs to surpass this roller coaster life to be able to “STAND”, “REBUILD”, and “RESTORE” for us to feel the true life brings us.
No comments:
Post a Comment